"WITTY AND WISE"

… is the current heading for the humor section of the AARP Bulletin" (previously labeled "Last Laugh"). lf the following examples cause uncomfortable symptoms, it would be wise to cover them with a face mask and stay 6 feet away from them.

- Gene Terpstra

- What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.

- I tried growing a beard during the Covid lockdown, but I couldn't pull it off. -----Try a razor. Much more effective.

- Husband: It takes me only 5 minutes to walk to the pub, but it takes me a half hour to get home. / Wife: The difference is staggering.

- What does a runner drink when he's in last place? Ketchup.

- Perry: I heard you went to trial for stealing someone's luggage.

Sherry: Yes, but they let me go. It was a briefcase.

- How much training do you need to be a trash collector? ----Not much. You pick it up as you go along.

- Why did the masseur get fired? / He rubbed people the wrong way.

- Darren: A clown held the door open for me today.

Karen: What a nice jester !

- Cop: O.K. buddy, where were you between 4 and 6?

Suspect: Uh, kindergarten. Why do you ask?

- Jane: How's it going at the gym?

Lane: Not so good. I sat on the rowing machine and it sank.

- Mack: I heard you have a good roof joke. Can I hear it?

Jack: Nope. It's over your head.

(Have a good day anyway!)