Grieving our Goodbyes

How often have you said, “Goodbye” in your life? I was recently prompted to think about that question for my own life, not just because of the recent death of my wife.

These reflections came rather as I was introduced to the book, “Praying Our Goodbyes,” by Sister Joyce Rupp.

Although I had found many of her books very helpful in the past, I had not been familiar with this book even though the original book appeared in 1988 and the second edition in 2009. 

As I had Alexa read to me from the second edition of the book on my Kindle, I came to appreciate how Sister Joyce Rupp recognizes that all of the goodbyes of our lives, and not just the goodbye to a loved one in death, have an emotional impact upon us and that healing from these goodbyes can only come as we are ready to acknowledge them and are able to grieve for them.  Many of these goodbyes, of course, are never verbalized, and, therefore, often never fully appreciated, though we had to say, “goodbye” to a particular school or college or job or home or town or wealth or health and so many other things that at one time have given meaning and significance to our lives. For many of these events in our lives we may not have been very conscious of having to say, “goodbye,” yet frequently even those changes in our lives which we have chosen can cause an emotional grief experience that often causes us to wonder whether we had made the right decision. In her book, which has the subtitle, “A Spiritual Companion Through Life’s Losses and Sorrows,” Joyce Rupp, has 24 prayers for various goodbyes that people often have to say in their lives. 

On this National Grief Awareness Day, I hope you will join with me in reflecting on the many “goodbyes” of your life for which you need to grieve in order to find healing and new significance in the “hellos” of the present realities of your life.

- Huw