Overhurt

Diner: Every time I have a cup of coffee I get a stabbing pain in my right eye. What shall I do?

Waiter: I'd take the spoon out of your cup.

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Doctor: Well, your leg is swollen, but I wouldn't worry about it.

Patient: No, and if your leg was swollen, I wouldn't worry about it either.

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Doctor 1: Did you ever make a serious mistake in your diagnosis of a patient?

Doctor 2: Yes, I once treated a patient for indigestion when he could have afforded an appendectomy.

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Doctor: Don't worry, Dave, this is a simple operation.

Patient: But Doc, my name's not Dave.

Doctor: I know. It's mine.

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Psychiatrist: Now, will you be able to pay the bill for the counseling I've given you?

Patient: Don't worry, Doc. You'll get the money or my name isn't King Henry VIII.

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Ed: Your girlfriend told me you never buy her flowers.

Fred: I didn't even know she sold flowers.

Your resident paingiver in D77